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Joke Time!

Joke Time!It is a fact that these are jokes. Whether or not they are funny — well, that is an opinion!

A duck goes into a store to buy chapstick. He told the cashier to put it on his bill.

I was up all night thinking about the sun. And then it dawned on me.

Scientists now know what is at the very center of Jupiter. It is the letter I.

A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “what should I use for chronic fingernail biting?”

The pharmacist replied, “sharp teeth.”

 

Q: Where does a bee like to sit?

A: On its bee-hind.

 

 

Did you hear about the zombie that got an A on his spelling test?

He said it was a “no-brainer.”

 

Q: What happens when you cross a chicken with a millipede?

A: A lifetime supply of drumsticks.

 

Never play cards when you’re in the Savannah. There are too many cheet-ahs.

 

Q: Why don’t frogs ever go on a diet?

A: Because they’re happy eating whatever bugs them.

 

A boar became a world-famous artist. His name was Pig-casso.

 

Q: What do dentures and stars have in common?

A: They come out at night.

 

A canary got her cell phone taken away during class. She was caught tweeting.

 

Tree #1: I’m not sure I like this new moss.

Tree #2: Give it time. It will grow on you.

 

Did you hear about the spider who just got engaged? She’s already looking for a webbing dress.

 

Q: Why did the tenor get arrested?

A: He was always in treble.

 

Joke Time!Batteries often feel left out. They’re never included.

 

Q: Why do cowboys ride horses?

A: Horses are too heavy to carry.

 

A student was going to tell his classmates a joke about clouds. But he figured it was over their heads.

 

Q: Why do aliens drink hot chocolate?

A: They love the Mars-mellows.

 

Q: What do you call something that is brown and sticky?

A: A stick.

 

I think calendars won’t be around much longer. Their days are numbered.

 

Did you hear about the anteater that started eating fireflies? He wanted a light snack.

 

Q: What did the ocean say to the shore?

A: Nothing. It just waved.

 

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