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Joke Time!

JokesIt is a fact that these are jokes. Whether or not they are funny — well, that is an opinion!

A duck goes into a store to buy chapstick. He told the cashier to put it on his bill.

I was up all night thinking about the sun. And then it dawned on me.

Scientists now know what is at the very center of Jupiter. It is the letter “i”.

A guy walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “what should I use for chronic fingernail biting?”

The pharmacist replied, “sharp teeth.”


Q: Where does a bee like to sit?

A: On its bee-hind.

What is Orion’s Belt? It’s a waist of space.



Q: Where does a General keep his armies?

A: In his sleevies.


Did you hear about the zombie that got an A on his spelling test?

He said it was a “no-brainer.”


Q: What happens when you cross a chicken with a millipede?

A: A lifetime supply of drumsticks.


Never play cards when you’re in the Savannah. There are too many cheet-ahs.


Q: Why don’t frogs ever go on a diet?

A: Because they’re happy eating whatever bugs them.

Joke Time!

I can jump higher than any tall building in the world. That’s because tall buildings can’t jump.


Q: Why couldn’t the frog find his car?

A: It was toad.


A boar became a world-famous artist. His name was Pig-casso.


Q: What do dentures and stars have in common?

A: They come out at night.


A canary got her cell phone taken away during class. She was caught tweeting.


Tree #1: I’m not sure I like this new moss.

Tree #2: Give it time. It will grow on you.


Did you hear about the spider who just got engaged? She’s already looking for a webbing dress.


Q: Why did the tenor get arrested?

A: He was always in treble.


Joke Time!Batteries often feel left out. They’re never included.


Q: Why do cowboys ride horses?

A: Horses are too heavy to carry.


A student was going to tell his classmates a joke about clouds. But he figured it was over their heads.


Q: Why do aliens drink hot chocolate?

A: They love the Mars-mellows.


Q: What do you call something that is brown and sticky?

A: A stick.


I think calendars won’t be around much longer. Their days are numbered.


Did you hear about the anteater that started eating fireflies? He wanted a light snack.


Q: What did the ocean say to the shore?

A: Nothing. It just waved.


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